priceless blooper

Fired!

Who knew that being fired hurts so damn bad! The only pain that surpasses this is when the man you love breaks up with you. God I can't believe I was fired! Everyone kept telling me that the company was crap and now I'm starting to think it may be true. They fired a person who actually liked the job. Very few people that work for them actually like it there. I was even thinking about how I might go about advancing with in the company. There loss I guess. Though, I am going to appeal it, but I prob won't take it if they do change their mind. I just want to be able to have the option of going back if I need to. I could have been the next Nancy. But like I said, their loss.

Salem

Yay for a day in Salem! I really needed it too. I'm so happy that I saw almost everyone that I wanted. Though, it is kinda hard to get everyone in when I came with no set plan. Sorry Tony I love you, but Bonnie time went longer than I expected. I was so gunna call you. That just means that next time it's all you buddy.

So, I went and saw Hot Rod and it was actually quite funny. I went to the chiropractor and got to talk about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I also got to talk to my buddy's John and Ambur on the phone for awhile. I'm so happy for Ambur in all her new adventures! I got to have Ali time and then Bonnie time. I also actually got to see a lot of my friends at work. Yay for friends like Kari, Kim, Steen, Nick, Gordon, ...

Not everything ended up working out. Total SAD PANDA, but I'll live. I think that I also gained an admirer. I think I should go for it, NOT! He's 13 and very sweet, but yeah no. I do like to rob the cradle but that is totally pushing it. Oh, I remember the days of being 13 and hating school and loving all the wrong people. Those were the days. J/k

He Called

So, of course the day after I post that he never calls, what does he do? He calls! I'm so damn happy, if you didn't notice. Yay Yay Yay! Yeah, that's all I have to say today!

I still love him

So, today as I sat home alone bored to death I couldn’t turn my mind off. Then tonight I watched two lovely romantic movies; both which were Hilary Duff movies. Oh, I love them so! But they have made me think. Though, I still haven’t given up on the idea of him and me! I feel like maybe it actually wasn’t meant to be. If he really wanted to be with me, he would. I’ve told him numerous times that if there was something there for me that I would move in a heartbeat! But it seems like the harder I wish the farther he goes. Maybe I’m just stuck on the idea of him. Though, I have never fallen for anyone the way I’ve fallen for him. God if only he felt the same way.
He is a man of convenience. He only does something if it is convenient for him. He could never handle 30 miles round trip, so how could I have expected him to handle 60 miles one way. He is also the kind of guy that needs a woman that will tell him exactly what to do and it’s sad to say, but a woman that constantly criticizes him. And well that is far from being me. I don’t want to be told what to do myself, so I will not tell someone else what to do. I also do not pick at someone to keep them down. Instead I like to grab everything I can from the person and show them how wonderful they really are. I honestly can’t figure out why I am not what he wants. How can someone honestly go around wanting to be controlled by another being? And never have faith in yourself. He’s overcome so many obstacles that it makes zero since! I love him so much, why can’t he just love me back!?!?
I guess I just need to go and put myself out there, but I’m just not ready. It took me 2.5 years to be ready to date again after my high school boyfriend. And well, I didn’t truly fall in love back then, as I have now for him! Yeah in 5 years I may be ready to date again. Why am I so attached to people? Maybe it’s because I can see their true potential, which makes me then want to reach mine when I’m with them. If, someone is going no where fast I do not want to be romantically involved with that person. I had a thing for a guy before the infamous HIM. That guy slammed on his breaks hard from his path to going somewhere with his life and magically I was over him. I guess it’s some kind of insurance for me, but I’m just not sure.
Is it sad that if he proposed to me tomorrow I would say yes? Though I wouldn’t want to marry for a couple of years, but I’m ready to take the next step with him. And hmmm…. We aren’t even on a step right now. It’s a total one way friendship. He never contacts me first. I have to do the initial talking. Though, when I see him I can just feel the great connection and trust that we have for one another. I respect him and will stand by him no matter what he does. And he’s always told me that I can do anything I put my mind to. Though I just can’t seem to make him love me again.

My Day

I’m so bored!!! I really should be writing one of my many papers due soon. Well thanks to everyone for their responses to my last post. I’m still having boy issues, but when am I not. Oh, and last night I realized that in about a month it will be 3 years since I’ve had a boyfriends. Yes, yes I know that’s sad. But I guess that’s just how it is.

Today I saw Lori and David. I decided to stop by and see them. You guys are awesome!!! And I’ll see you again on Friday and yes I know 7am on Saturday. Why 7am???? Err, I’m totally not a morning person. Oh well, it’s my job.

Tonight should be fun. I have Dress Rehearsal and then I’m going over to play pool with Carl and some other friends. I love to play pool, I suck but its fun! Maybe we will play poker and I’ll loose. Oh well, maybe I will at least beat Adam if he’s there.

!?!?! gUy PrObLeMs !?!?!

Ok, well I’ve decided yet again to try to keep recent posts in here. Plus this way I can rant and rave to people other than Danielle. Poor Danielle is probably sick of my guy drama!

This is what I want in a guy: Live within 20min of me, be my age or older, doesn’t smoke anything, can be a social drinker, and not just after some booty.

Here are the guys in my life:
Guy #1: I like him and I don’t know why. Though, I can’t have him unless I’m willing to sacrifice something. And I really don’t wanna give it up. If I did and it didn’t work out, that would just totally suck! Though he is older and lives kinda close.
Guy #2: Younger than me, smokes weed, lives on the other side of Salem. Though he really likes me and I’m not the nicest person to him. I think I’m mean to him because I know I shouldn’t like him. He’s not a bad kisser. I can’t have him for two reasons: One reason would be because it would complicate things somewhere if we were to break up. The other is pretty simple; he’s not on the market.
Guy #3: I’ve had a thing for him since I first laid eyes on him. But he has a lot of the same issues as Guy #2. He is younger than me, smokes weed, and lives on the other side of Salem. And it too would be awkward if we were to break up.

There are a few other guys, but they are just crushes. Nothing will probably ever come from them.

Why can’t I just go for a guy here in Monmouth at WOU? Is that just too hard to ask!!!! I always go for the guys I can’t have! What makes them so damn appealing when I can’t have them? Oh and get this, when I can have them I reject them. But inside I do kinda want them. I guess I’m just a floozy and like that challenge of trying to get something I can’t have.